I realized yesterday that there are a few things I should have acknowledged in my artist statement, when I was talking about the lightbox. For instance, the fact that it is a lightbox, a digital image on a lightbox, not an object. For that reason, I would like to add to my artist statement, modify it slightly.
Artist Statement: Talisman
This object is a collection of trinkets from my life, a talisman of sorts. It has no real value, other than sentimentally, even to me. It exists as a catalogue of memories- happy, sad, humourous, bittersweet, naïve, distant and ongoing. The objects are cheap, simply stand-ins for people I’ve known, places I’ve been, lessons learned, moments in time. They are connected in the chain, making up small parts of the larger whole, my life. They are intertwined, unable to be separated, non linear, like the memories within my brain. They are things I’ve made, things I’ve earned, things I’ve picked up, and things I’ve stolen. Everything has a story, a bit of significance in my life. Not a large significance, however- the real significance is the way the moments add up, to make me who I am today. Through these objects, I remember my Oma, my first boyfriend, my childhood best friends, our Japanese exchange students, the kids I used to babysit. I remember the summer I learned to whittle, getting my ears pierced, my first day of college, how lonely I was in Montreal, a trip to Santa Fe. It’s a map of where I’ve been.
The lightbox shows more of my personality than my history. I am documenter, collector, archiver. Anthropologist. Shedding light on the image allows me to examine it. Using my own writing, I am cataloguing my collection, my experiences. Whether it’s legible or not is not important- the act of writing gives it a place, a context, a home, if only in my mind.
This object is a collection of trinkets from my life, a talisman of sorts. It has no real value, other than sentimentally, even to me. It exists as a catalogue of memories- happy, sad, humourous, bittersweet, naïve, distant and ongoing. The objects are cheap, simply stand-ins for people I’ve known, places I’ve been, lessons learned, moments in time. They are connected in the chain, making up small parts of the larger whole, my life. They are intertwined, unable to be separated, non linear, like the memories within my brain. They are things I’ve made, things I’ve earned, things I’ve picked up, and things I’ve stolen. Everything has a story, a bit of significance in my life. Not a large significance, however- the real significance is the way the moments add up, to make me who I am today. Through these objects, I remember my Oma, my first boyfriend, my childhood best friends, our Japanese exchange students, the kids I used to babysit. I remember the summer I learned to whittle, getting my ears pierced, my first day of college, how lonely I was in Montreal, a trip to Santa Fe. It’s a map of where I’ve been.
I’ve realized that the identity theme is quite an overarching umbrella, which has relevance to some of the other work I’m doing as well. There are a few things I’ve been doing that relate to identity, and I’m even considering doing another lightbox or two to explore that further. For instance, these two selfies.
So, identity. Who am I? Woman, artist, 31 years old, feminist, Albertan, maker, collector, journal-keeper, documenter, anthropologist. I have negotiated a lot of change in the last few months of my life, which has caused my idea of my own identity to shift somewhat. I am resilient, I am careful, but willing to take risks, I am growing, evolving. It’s been a rough transition to be here: moving by myself from Calgary, leaving all my friends and family behind, breaking up with the boyfriend, driving an incredible distance as a lone female, moving three times in three months within K-W, and negotiating financial concerns. All of this without even mentioning the changes happening within my studio work- letting go of the Institute of Morphoid Research, letting go of my identity as a fibre artist, and an “ACAD kid,” and making work I never thought I would be making. Realizing that I’m producing a lot of junk right now, and learning to be okay with that. Right now, I am studying myself, but it is not happening as I expected- for a while, I was a little lonely, a little scared, getting used to new surroundings, but just a couple weeks ago, I met someone, and so am (re)discovering myself in that way as well. I’m learning that I have to go with the flow to a degree, be flexible and let things evolve naturally. It’s not always what you expect.
I’m not the same person I was three months ago. Evolving. Fluid identity.
I’ve been working with an image for my lightbox project, a kind of self portrait, a few photos I took that I stitched together in photoshop. I was planning on doing a sort of anthropological annotation in my own writing right on the image, but as I’m working, I’m realizing that as I’m doing it, it is complicating the image. Quite honestly, it isn’t working out visually. This is the image, and an example of playing with the text, although I’m nowhere near where what I was intending with it (i.e., not finished in that intention). You can probably see why I’m not happy with it. It’s too busy/ getting harder to read, not as strong visually, etc.
I think, that to do what I’m intending with this work, I would have to make it quite a bit bigger than what our project constraints would allow. This would all me more room for the text, and to make it smaller in relation to the image. But maybe there’s a better way to do it that will fit the project parameters.
So, how to fix it. Simplify. Simplify?
I’m concerned that this one is too simple. It seems counter to my nature, although I realize that my personality likes to throw way more in there than I actually need. Actually, a big discussion in my studio visits last week (was that last week?) was about not giving away all of the mystery, not answering all of the questions. More is not always better. But does it hit the mark?
By putting in the title, I think I am connecting the object back to myself, and giving it just a little bit of context, although it might not be enough. I don’t know if this is fully necessary either, however. Hmm.
The other option I was thinking about is possibly adding writing to the surface below the image. But then, what am I writing, and what is the point of it? Will it be the same kind of text or something else? How do I rectify that, both conceptually, and visually?
Here are a few of my ideas for my identity lightbox. These are photos of some pages from my sketchbook. (Please excuse the bad quality- I’m still figuring out how to do things on my new computer.)
I’ve realized that Identity is something that is showing up in my other work as well. I don’t want to steal/ borrow something from that for the assignment, as that seems a bit cheap. However, here’s an example of something I’ve been playing with, this idea of mask/ intertior/exterior/ “Putting on a Face.” The mask is this giant Cheshire-cat kind of smile, over exaggerated and fake.
For the project, I think I’m interested in doing something with my compulsion of collecting and cataloguing- maybe something using an image of kind of talisman of trinkets that I’ve been making for a long time and keep adding bits to. It functions a bit as a personal memory bank of my life.
1. In your blog, choose an image from the two essay that you relate to in terms of identity.
Discuss why you relate to it in your blog.
2. How do you position yourself in terms of “sense of self?”
3. Identify these terms: – cultural appropriation, – subjectivity
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1. I am choosing to discuss Cindy Sherman’s Untitled #411, from the essay, “In Character: Self Portrait as Another” from the Contact Photography Festival Catalogue. The image is a photograph of Sherman dressed up as a clown.
I relate to this image as it discusses the pressures put on women in today’s society. The character in it is melancholy, despite the outlandish costume and garish makeup. She is sad, but has dressed herself as she should be dressed, according to the expectations of society and her own inner identity as clown – if you identify as a clown, you are expected to dress the part, the cliche, whether or not that’s how you feel inside. In theory, a clown is only allowed to have a small range of identity and emotion, although that is not the way it actually might work. This relates to how women (clowns or not) are expected to act in society- to dress a certain way, to act a certain way. Some feelings and behaviours are not deemed suitable for women- we are constantly judged on things that may have no real bearing on how we actually are as human beings. There is a lot of pressure to conform- to form an outer identity that fits society’s ideals, when, in reality, they are superficial and unrealistic, and often not in line with how we identify on the inside.
2. How do you position yourself in terms of “sense of self?”
For me, my sense of self comes from inside of me, although it is in no way uninfluenced by outward stimuli. In my life, I have always felt like an independent person, with my own likes and dislikes, making my own decisions and interpreting the world in my own way. I have had good friends in my life, although I feel in a larger quantity more recently in my life. I have also gone through periods of life when I have been isolated, sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstance, and that has formed a large part of who I am today- an independent, cautiously adventurous person, a life-long learner and self-motivated artist. I am not afraid of a challenge, and will not let fear get the better of me. Moving (driving) to Waterloo from Alberta all by myself was incredibly empowering- I had to make decisions for myself and give up a lot of good things to come here. As much as I enjoyed my life in Calgary, it wasn’t enough adventure for me- I knew that by staying, I would let fear get the better of me and I would always regret not pursuing my dreams.
I am also an avid journaller, which is another factor that has influenced my sense of self as an independent, yet innerly focused person. I know what I need and what I don’t like, what is important to me, and what is insignificant, because my journals have given me a space to work these things out and watch how I’ve grown and developed over time. I am also very much a planner and documenter, a calculated risk taker, very much evident in my journals. I am a do-er, an observer, a documenter, and a collector.
3. Identify these terms: – cultural appropriation, – subjectivity.
Cultural appropriation is using something from another culture, even though it doesn’t ‘belong’ to you. This is often seen as insensitive, but I believe there are ways to do this (with certain things) in a more considerate manner. This reminds me of a video I’ve seen recently, which I agree with, to a point:
Subjectivity:
Subjectivity relates to particular situations or instances, as they are observed by individual people. Your own particular experiences and observations come together to form your own subjective opinion. No one else is going to have exactly the same outlook on life, or world view.
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Apologies for the lateness on this post- I couldn’t fit it in around our trip to New York.
Digital Sketchbook 